Use of English PRO

‘They say this is a good test of a relationship,’ said Tim as he handed me the paddle. I wasn’t sure that such a tough challenge was what was needed on a honeymoon, but it was too late to go back. My wife, Leigh, and I were standing with our guide, Tim Came, on the banks of the Zambezi near the Zambia/Botswana border. This was to be the highlight of our honeymoon: a safari downriver, ending at the point where David Livingstone first saw the Victoria Falls.
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Neither of us had any canoeing experience. Tentatively we set off downstream, paddling with more enthusiasm than expertise. Soon we heard the first distant rumblings of what seemed like thunder. ‘Is that Victoria Falls?’ we inquired naïvely. ‘No,’ said Tim dismissively. ‘That’s our first rapid.’ Easy, we thought. Wrong!
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The canoe plotted a crazed path as we careered from side to side, our best efforts seeming only to add to our plight. This was the first of many rapids, all relatively minor, all enjoyably challenging for tourists like us.
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The overnight stops would mean mooring at a deserted island in the middle of the river, where Tim’s willing support team would be waiting, having erected a camp and got the water warm for our bucket showers. As the ice slowly melted in the drinks, restaurant-quality food would appear from a cooker using hot coals. Then people would begin to relax, and the day’s stories would take on epic proportions.
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One morning, Tim decided to count the number of hippos we saw, in an attempt to gauge the population in this part of the river. Most of the wildlife keeps a cautious distance, and we were assured that, safe in our canoe, any potential threats would be more scared of us than we were of them – but we had been warned to give these river giants a wide berth. They’d normally stay in mid-stream, watching us with some suspicion, and greeting our departure with a cacophony of grunts.
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Tim yelled ‘Paddle!’ and over the next 100 metres an Olympic runner would have struggled to keep up with us. The hippo gave up the chase, and although Tim said he was just a youngster showing off, our opinion was that he had honeymooners on the menu. That would certainly be the way we told the story by the time we got home.
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At some times of the year, you can even enjoy a natural jacuzzi in one of the rock pools beside the falls. No permanent structures are allowed on the island – everything has to be removed when you leave. The travel brochures say it’s the world’s most exclusive picnic spot. It’s certainly the ideal place to wind down after a near miss with a hippo.